U.S. stocks showed unbridled enthusiasm yesterday for the changing of the guard in North Korea, tacking 337 points onto the Dow Industrial Average. Could heir apparent Kim Jong Eun be the Man of Peace the world has been waiting for? It sure looked that way on Wall Street, where a wave of optimism about something fabulous swamped sellers from the opening bell. Even if the young Kim – reportedly a huge basketball fan like his dad — merely slows North Korea’s mischievous transfer of nuclear weapons technology to Iran’s mullahs, jihadists and terrorists around the world, it would be the best Christmas present our crisis-fatigued planet could receive. Small wonder, then, that North Koreans were sobbing in the streets as they grieved the loss of their Dear Leader. And very dear he must have been, to judge from the tens of thousands of mourners who lined up for hours to pay their respects as Kim Jong Il lay in state, ensconced in a glass-covered coffin. Was he smiling when he died? We couldn’t tell looking at the picture below, although we won’t be surprised if a future biographer reveals that Kim, who’s name means “regal hill,” was a world-class kibitzer in private.
A few churlish newscasters said the distraught mourners looked like they were putting on an act. But then, the network anchors have always had it in for the Kims, especially after Richard Nixon died in 1994 and left them with a large surplus of loathing and revulsion to expend. North Korea’s leaders were bound to be a target of their opprobrium, given the Kim dynasty’s well-known penchant for cute girls, Cuban cigars and Remy. Granted, most of North Korea’s citizens are lucky to get 500 calories of food in a given day. But is that any reason to begrudge their dedicated, hard-working leaders a few of life’s finer things? Did anyone criticize DeGaulle for swilling Pauillac like it was soda pop? Certainly not. Anyway, if Kim Jong Il’s subjects resented his joie de vivre, they certainly weren’t showing it to reporters. For our part, we’re thrilled and delighted that U.S. investors have greeted the apparently smooth transfer of power in North Korea with the enthusiasm and optimism it deserves. At the very least, the nation’s 14 days of mourning will help take our minds off Europe for a while, allowing the world’s bourses to greet the dawn with a song in their hearts.
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Maybe N. Korea can open up to tourists now as a kind of living Museum of Communism? I’d go. I was in China shortly after the thaw, and what an adventure that was! The biggest surprise was seeing Donald Duck everywhere I went. I wonder what strange and wonderful discoveries await us in N.Korea?